There are a lot of things you can use to ease up the anxiety you feel during this pandemic time. Perhaps you tried reading a lot of books, or maybe you tried learning how to cook. Or you managed to binge-watch your favorite series or entertain yourself through your mobile device. Well, all of those are beneficial in keeping you sane in this time of crisis. But for me, I entirely like one thing in particular, and that is writing.
When Did I Start Writing?
At first, I thought it was too late to grab a pen and a notebook and write something, particularly about this whole pandemic situation. I was having difficulty putting my thoughts and emotions in a piece of paper because I thought it would be useless. That writing will not take the negativities in my head, so I was entirely hesitant to work on it. But for the past couple of weeks, I felt so distracted, and I can’t explain why. I was always annoyed and irritated by all the things around me. I distanced myself from everyone because I often experienced a meltdown where all I do is cry and complain about my situation.
I was too focused on my hardships that I don’t care about what others are struggling with. I felt I deserve all the attention because I was vulnerable, and I can’t deal with my mental and emotional issues alone. I was too selfish even to care to think of other people’s needs because I felt like it would be a waste of time. That’s where it hits me. I need to straighten my thoughts, and that is where I started writing all those negativities down.
What Did I Write?
I was confused as to how I should write everything in my head. Luckily, I managed to collect my thoughts and list all the things I hated about my life. Here are some of those:
I hated that people look down on me because of my inability to create and sustain a conversation. I hated how people judged the way I chose to dress. I hated living all alone, but I don’t want other people to enter my life. I hated how I wished everyone dead because but I believe they deserve it. I hated other people when they make excuses, but I like it when I excused myself. I hated how things around me are always changing because I don’t want the new normal. I hated that I struggled with anxiety and depression, which is because of the uncertainties of this pandemic.
After I wrote down some of these negative thoughts, I was shocked to realize that I have been struggling emotionally and mentally over the past few years. I was unaware of my life situations, and I thought I was okay. That is where I became thankful for this pandemic state because it showed me that I was in bad shape. And after writing all those things, I began to think of the inevitable. I aimed to be better. So after listing all of that stuff, I immediately looked for solutions to the problems I have one-by-one. Now, I can say that I handled some of the worst thoughts I have, and I felt better now that I recognized what life my issues are.
Honestly, writing doesn’t have to be anything fancy, nor it needs to cost a fortune. All you got to have is a notebook and a pen where you can get your thoughts down. From there, you write, read and internalize the things you wrote about yourself and learn from it.